...I have not felt before in my life. This must be what a broken heart feels like.
Our birth mom changed her mind. She is on her way now to come and pick up Evan. Dave and I have cried so much tonight, that we have run out of tears and are now just numb. We don't know why God allows such pain - especially as every single aspect of this adoption seemed so miraculous. We would never want to stand in the way of a mother who wanted her child, but we love him too. For 5 days, we were Evan's mommy and daddy - and it just hurts so much to have to give him back.
Thankfully, we have the Lord to help us through this. We know there is a reason for our pain, and we know that God loves us. It says so in his Word, and that is where our hope is now. To Him we will cling...
22 Because of the LORD's great love we are not consumed, for his compassions never fail.
23 They are new every morning; great is your faithfulness.
24 I say to myself, "The LORD is my portion; therefore I will wait for him."
25 The LORD is good to those whose hope is in him, to the one who seeks him;
26 it is good to wait quietly for the salvation of the LORD.
32 Though he brings grief, he will show compassion, so great is his unfailing love.
33 For he does not willingly bring affliction or grief to the children of men.
Lamentations 3:22-26, 32-33